Tow Truck

𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴:
“Night Prowler – AC/DC” ★
01:22 ━━━━●───── 04:16
ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻ ♡

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I like older guys. I like how they make me feel, my brain turns off when I’m with them. I met Lawrence on Hinge when I was still eighteen, he was thirty-six. That probably should have been the first red-flag; I’m color blind. 

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I lied. Lawrence and I met on Tinder about two weeks before I landed in the mental hospital. I ghosted him then… for obvious reasons. Funny enough I was actually talking to another Michael at the time, he was forty-seven. We talked on Hinge for about three seconds before he asked for my number, which he already had from our earlier encounter. I knew he had it, so once I texted him I lied and said I was sorry for ghosting him. I wasn’t. 

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It took about four minutes before he asked to come over to my apartment. I agreed–I’m a bit of a push-over. He lived about an hour and a half away from me but for some reason it took him about six to make it to my place. That should have been the second red-flag; I’m color blind. The first thing he said when we were in my room was that he loved my chest and that girls with big tits was his fetish. That should have been the third red-flag; I’m color blind.

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The performance started from there since I already knew what he wanted. 

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I turned off my thoughts and let him do what he wanted.

He spent the night afterwards, not because he wanted to, but because his truck ended up getting towed. I think I told you I’m not your average person so I took it as a sign from the universe that we were meant to be together. Mind you, I just spent the past two hours crying on the inside because once again I was reduced just to my body. I like the transaction. Let them do whatever they want and in return I get to call a man that actually wants me–well, wants a certain part of me–daddy. I wonder if I’d still be this way if my parents were normal.

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I liked him. I did everything right. He ghosted me for two months. 

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I told myself he was upset that his car got towed and I should have made sure he parked in the right spot. I told myself that if I performed better he would have texted me back. So I did what I always did and searched for validation elsewhere–that’s when I met Stephen… also on Tinder.

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Around the time Stephen stopped coming around every Friday Lawrence started texting me again. Well texting is an overstatement, he asked to come over the same night he reached back out. I said yes. I wanted to ignore him but I just couldn’t. He promised he’d make it up to me by spending the night; he left after the second round. I cried myself to sleep that night. 

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